This was a play staged at an annual function of a big software company in
India. It was around Jan 2000 when the demand for skilled software professionals
surging. The situation in a typical project would be one of chaos - insufficient
knowhow, abysmal management, tight deadlines and a bewildered customer. Thanks
to media hype, every student and unemployed person looked to IT as a dream
career while those lucky enough to be already in took the perks for granted
and aspired for greener pastures. The play attempts to explore a software
engineer's perspective of the burgeoning Indian software industry.
While most names are Indian, we stuck to Jack and Rose for the lead roles
to leverage some character association with the Titanic.
Jack (played by Srini) could pass on for the typical bright Indian male software engineer. A high sense of self-worth and a budding love life but always at odds with his seniors. Rose (played by Arurima) typifies Jack's female counterpart. A couple of colleagues are thrown in (Colleague1- Col1 - played by Kiran and Colleague2-Col2- played by Rajesh ) to bring out peer level interactions. Giridhar Gopal (played by Karan) is the average bungling project manager who has risen to this post merely by virture of the number of years he managed to remain afloat in the industry. Krishan Kanhaiya (played by Shailesh) exemplifies the stressed out HR managers of 1999-00's. The wife of Giridhar Gopal (played by Aarti) brings out the other side of a senior IT executive's life. The ebullient job candidate (played by Sridhar) completes the overall IT picture. I (Sriram) was the narrator.
The image on the right (copied from http://www.littletree.com.au/lablies.htm) was used a poster for the play. The mouse is symbolic of the the PC revolution in particular and IT in general. The situation depicted in the picture is symbolic of the bind in which a bright software engineer finds himself - things aren't as they should be but there's nowhere else to go!
| (start of
play) (Introductory narration:) They call me 'the owl'. I am the only one in my department. It is called 'the bench'. You don't work in this department - you only observe. That is why they call me 'the owl'. When I go home I note down all that I observed in my diary. Today's observations ... |
|
| Jack |
(Jack enters grumbling on a Monday morning) (Swipes security card - door doesn't open) Damn this card! Let me try my ATM card. (swipes ATM card - door opens) It worked! Money opens all doors. (Push, Pull - sound of door opening) (finds office deserted) Has this office shitfted? |
| Col1 |
Come on Jack, it is Monday and only 9:30 am. Its not
fair to expect many people around. |
| Col2 |
Hi Jack |
| Jack |
Hi Rajesh |
| Col2 |
How's it going dude? |
| Jack |
This week is going to be hell. Lots of debugging to
do before phase 1 can be delivered. (sits down in front of his computer to type) (enter Rose) |
| Rose |
Hi Jack |
| Jack |
(without raising head) hi |
| Rose |
(to col2) What's Jack up to? |
| Col2 |
Busy debugging |
| Rose |
Debugging? The way he's typing, it looks like he's
recoding the whole product. |
| Col2 |
Oh that. Come on, Rose - it is the duty of every software
engineer to read and respond to all his mails by 10am. Don't you know that
it is a non-bailable offence under section 2A of the 'Software Malpractices
Act' to even think of work before 10 am? |
| Rose |
ha ha ha |
| (narration) The character you are about to see now is one of the most hated amongst the tribe of software engineers. He is called the Project Manager. Some projects do succeed inspite of these Project Managers. This proves God's existence. |
|
| (10:30 am) (enter Project Manager - Giridhar Gopal -'GG') |
|
| GG |
Ok Jack, time up. We've got to talk about phase 1
now. Have you booked the meeting room? |
| Jack |
All rooms are booked for the whole month. |
| GG |
(pauses) Let's go to the terrace and discuss it over a cup of coffee. (on the terrace) |
| GG |
Jack, I have news for you. We need to deliver phase
1 by today evening. |
| Jack |
What! Phase 1 today? |
| GG |
Yes Jack, we have to. The customer is king you see.
They called me up yesterday night in bed and said they want it ready by today
evening. |
| Jack |
Even if all the bugs are fixed, this module will take
3 hours to build on my 16MB RAM machine. I need at least 256 MB RAM to attempt
what you propose. |
| GG |
No problem Jack. I have 256 MB RAM on my machine.
And what is the network for. I'll share my RAM with you. |
| Jack |
(in exasperation) What! Sharing RAM? Are you kidding? |
| GG |
Of course not. I'm already sharing my PowerPoint presentations
and project estimate files and directories over the network with my colleagues
. I'll share my RAM with you. |
| Jack |
It is just not possible Giridhar! |
| GG |
Are you sure? |
| Jack |
You want to bet? |
| GG |
(pauses) Well then, maybe this version of Windows Networking doesn't support the feature. But you've got to do it today Jack. (meeting ends. Jack goes back to work) |
| (narration:) There was once an inquisitive boy who used to harass people with all strange and silly questions. Today, he works in technical support, handling weirder questions from customers. |
|
| (elsewhere in office) (tech support area, phone rings) |
|
| Col1 |
Hello, tech support, how may I help you? |
| Caller |
The cup holder on my PC is broken and I'm withing
my warranty period. How do I go about getting it fixed? |
| Col1 |
(looking stumpted) How did you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it? |
| Caller |
It came with my computer. It just has '4X' and Creative
on it. It has a cool button that automatically draws it in after I finish
my coffee. |
| Col1 |
Excuse me, that is not meant to be a cup holder. That
is the load drawer of your CD-ROM Drive. (bangs phone down) |
| (lunch time) |
|
| Col2 |
(while passing) Hey Jack, time for lunch. |
| Jack |
Sorry pal, way too busy today - no time for lunch. |
| Col1 |
( while passing) coming for lunch Jack? |
| Jack |
Would love to? But I'm all tied up with this module. |
| Rose |
( while passing ) You seem to be busy Jack. |
| Jack |
Ya, kind of. |
| Rose |
Shall we go out for lunch? If you have the time, that
is. |
| Jack |
Oh sure! Why not? I'm not that busy. (they both walk off) |
| (narration:) Throughout history, we have witnessed the tussle for power between man and wife. Seldom has the balance tilted so decisively in favour of the fairer sex. |
|
| (phone rings at PM's desk) - call from GG's wife |
|
| GG |
hello |
| Wife |
Giridhar? |
| GG |
ya hi |
| Wife |
hey when do you plan to come home today? |
| GG |
I'm really going to be delayed today. May even get
as late as 6:30 pm. |
| Wife |
Never mind. I just called to remind you to get a kilo
of chicken on the way back. |
| GG |
A kilo of chicken! But I don't even have a bag to
carry it. |
| Wife |
Why don't you use the black bag you carry everyday? |
| GG |
(aghast) You mean the laptop bag? |
| Wife |
ya, whatever - but no chicken, no dinner. ok see ya. (hangs up) |
| (GG rubs his forehead and goes for lunch) (on the way back from lunch) |
|
| (narration:) There was a time when the job of HR managers was considered an easy and laid back job. Then came the software industry. |
|
| (GG and KK - Krishan Kanhaiya walking together) |
|
| GG |
Hey KrishKanhai, how's your recruitment drive going? |
| KK |
I recruited 100 last month, but 50 quit. That leaves
a backlog of and a target of 100 more this month. Looks like I'll have to get another recruitment manager first. Also a career manager for the backlog. |
| GG |
You mean 2 career managers for products, projects
and a separate one for the backlog? hmm sounds good. (GG walks off. KK remains in the center of stage) (time for an interview) |
| Candidate |
hi |
| KK |
hello (shake hands) |
| KK |
So Sridhar, tell me something about your skills. |
| Candidate |
Well, I'm experienced in C, C++ and Unix. I have also
worked in Visual Basic and Java for some time. |
| KK |
Oh great! But we are looking for people with skills
in internet technologies. |
| Candidate |
Sure! You are looking at the right person. I hold
the record for non-stop chatting with maximum number of users. You would
have read about the recent breakdown at Yahoo. |
| KK |
Yes, what about it? |
| Candidate |
(shyly) Well, I was one of the persons behind it. |
| KK |
Great. You seem to have all the right qualifications.
You belong to this place. Do you have any questions? |
| Candidate |
I'd like to know something more about the recent performance
of this company. |
| KK |
(showing a chart) Our performance speaks for us. 30% increase in intra-organizational marriages this quarter. 15 couples are in pipeline. |
| Candidate |
Marriages! I thought you are in business to
make profits. |
| KK |
Well, I look after the human resources you see (interview ends) |
| (narration: ) Time and tide wait for no man. At the appointed hour, each of us has to account for one's deeds. It is Jack's turn now. I leave you here to witness the rest of the story. |
|
| (6 pm) |
|
| GG |
Jack, is phase 1 through? |
| Jack |
(hesitantly) Well, I could not manage it today, but it should be ready in a couple of days. |
| GG |
I warned you Jack that we have to deliver Phase 1
today. I'm sorry you've just lost your job. (walks off) |
| Jack |
Damn! (kicks something) (sits clutching his head) |
| Rose |
Hi Jack. You look depressed? What happened? |
| Jack |
This company has just lost its finest software engineer.
They'll pay for this. The whole IT industry is going to mourn my loss. I
know what I'm going to do. I'm going to retire from IT for ever. (pauses) Will you support me, Rose? |
| Rose |
Oh Jack, they did this to you? How terrible. I'm really
sorry for you. Of course I'll support you. I'll immediately go and start
an email chain in your honour. |
| Jack |
No Rose. I want you to give up everything too and
come with me. We shall start an anti-IT movement that will bring the computer
industry to its knees. |
| Rose |
(with a cold stare) Now look here Jack, I sympathize with you. But I can't leave this job for a dim-witted, penniless dud like you. All the best Jack. Bye (walks off leaving Jack open mouthed) |
| Jack |
(holding his heart) This is the worst day of my life. I've lost my job and my girl too. Why did I ever get into IT. This virtual e-world. E-commerce, E-business, E-mail, E-this, E-that, E-nough!! (kneels down) I've sinned Oh Lord! Instead of doing a meaningful job like farming or carpentry or selling tea on the railway platform, I wasted my youth tapping a keyboard in front of blue screens. I must repent for my sins. I shall roam around the country and spread the word of the lord. That will be my salvaltion. (exits) |
| (placard: thereafter) |
|
| Jack |
(singing) Make me a channel of your peace ... Where there is hatred, let me sow love ... (moves out) |
| Jack |
(one fine day in a village) Ah, this is a fine place to start preaching. This village seems untouched by the epidemic of computers. (some children assemble) Children, today we shall learn about the ten commandments. Do you know it? |
| Children |
Yes father, we do. |
| Jack |
Wonderful! children, wonderful! Where did you learn
it from? |
| Children |
www.e-commandments.com !! (Jack faints. curtains) |
|
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